Premarital Counseling: Is it for You?

Premarital counseling has been undergoing some revamping in current times. It has evolved greatly from the mandatory sessions your pastor made you comply with prior to marrying you and your love. There are many options that remove the theological perspective from the marriage. The value of premarital counseling remains the same. By demonstrating your commitment to your relationship, your motivation to take preventive measures in conflict, and your openness to face challenges, you are more likely to have long-term success in your relationship (correlational research backs me on this statement).

So what is premarital counseling? It is a package of sessions where you and your partner can explore a variety of common (and not so common) conflicts in marriage- kids, money, communication and conflict resolution, in-laws, sex, world views (aka politics and religion), delegation of responsibilities, etc. You will each have the opportunity to talk about how you agree, disagree, and resolve. This is a great time to talk about any final issues before you take that big leap.

Many couples will think, “Oh we don’t need to talk about that. We know how to work through those issues.” That is a humorous time for me to see when the seemingly insignificant topic for that particular couple becomes the highlight of therapy. What one person may not think is an issue, may be of great concern to the other person. Also, just because you haven’t talked about it, doesn’t mean it isn’t an issue. The greatest outcome for many couples is knowing that you approached these topics and you were able to talk through them. An essential learning component in premarital counseling is teaching couples that this is only one of many times that you will have to revisit and renegotiate these topics. Having that notion, will achieve the greatest outcomes for happy, lasting marriages.

What are some of your premarital topics?


One thought on “Premarital Counseling: Is it for You?

  1. Currently Bryce (fiance) and I are using the premarital counseling through my church. I’m Catholic, born and raised and Bryce is not. He was very reluctant, to say the least, but now that we have gone a couple of times, I really think I can say with some confidence that he enjoys it.

    For us, this counseling consisted of meeting with a mentor couple, taking a couples inventory and working through some different exercises. Last week we did a Wish List, three things that we wish our significant other would do more of. This was a great way for us to talk and really hear about each others needs.

    Tonight we have our third session with our mentor couple and I am anxious to see what comes next. I love being able to see and talk to each other about our relationship wants and needs and learn some skills that we can use in our marriage.

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