My life has never been chill and relaxed. I don’t know why since that is something that I promote. I suppose that as a goal-oriented woman, I have never been able to live a life without goals to strive for. My advisor and supervisor in graduate school used to get so made at me. My final year in graduate school I decided to do my internship at two different locations, work two jobs, take my course load, and write a thesis (which was not a part of the curriculum). I negotiated this with them by saying that it was temporary. I only had to balance them all for a few months. Well, it seems that a schedule like that has been the norm, rather than the exception. I’m not sure why when it drives me crazy at times. I guess the answer is because I wouldn’t be satisfied with less either.
Needless to say, that is sort of how my life is now. A contract job (with lots of governmental changes), a new business, growing the business, planning a wedding, envisioning a family, home browsing, a car accident and subsequent health issues. You know, the small stuff. Often times, I am OK with it. It is what I need to do to get closer to the dream. Other times, I think it is all foolish. I often have thoughts about letting it all go and simplifying.
I think, let’s sell the house and all the belongings and head south (or further east). I’ll teach yoga, wake-up with the sound of the waves, and walk to wherever I need to go. In recent fantasies, surfing is included. However, my question to myself is why do I have to leave the country to simplify my life? Why isn’t it accepted to live that lifestyle if it is what I seek? Why can’t I accept it?
I recently finished a cleanse. You know, one of those things where you restrict your diet in order to jump start your metabolism or adjust the types of food you consume. I suppose that I look at a chance to live abroad as that same chance… a lifestyle cleanse. The opportunity to push the reset button. Do I need a reset button or just a good vacation? I think that all I am ready for is a little bit of ease. As much as I love goals and working toward something, I am ready to achieve and be. Yes, I am ready to just Be. I think I am ready for a life less complicated. Whatever that may entail.